http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/05/travel/decoding-etiquette-in-china-handshakes-to-meals.html 2014-10-03 00:21:22 Decoding Etiquette in China, Handshakes to Meals The author Eden Collinsworth, who has researched Chinese culture, shares what she’s learned. === It’s a heck of a story: how Eden Collinsworth, an American publishing executive, became the Dale Carnegie of China. It begins with her, after nearly three decades of traveling to the country, moving to Beijing in 2011 with the idea of writing a guide to Western etiquette for Chinese businessmen. And it ends, to her great surprise, with her book, “The Tao of Improving Your Likability: A Personal Guide to Effective Business Etiquette in Today’s Global World,” becoming a best-seller. The between — her year of researching Chinese culture, from centuries-old hutongs to a billionaire’s opulent resort — is the stuff of her latest book, “I Stand Corrected: How Teaching Western Manners in China Became Its Own Unforgettable Lesson.” And it is, at turns, entertaining, informative and insightful. Recently Ms. Collinsworth talked about her time in China and what she learned of its culture. Following are edited excerpts. Q. Where do you see a stark difference between the Western and the Chinese ways of doing business? A. Anything to keep in mind about greetings? ­Many times people in China have business cards or social cards, if they are not necessarily in business. First thing you should be aware of is the deference that you should attach to a business card. You accept it with both hands, you make a point of looking at it; that’s a sign of respect. The most staggering example of poor deportment from a Chinese perspective: I was in a series of negotiations, and we were coming to a positive conclusion, and my colleague, a Westerner, not really thinking, began to clean his fingernail with the business card. And that was that. The deal disappeared. Any tips for mealtime? ­You must try everything, even if something looks aggressively weird. To refuse anything is a loss of face to the host. What happens inevitably is that you’re seated at a round table — there are few rectangular tables in China because in the middle of the table, no matter how posh the circumstances, is what we call a Lazy Susan — and as the food arrives, the host moves it in a clockwise motion toward you, and he will serve himself last. All at the table know to save for the guest the last bites of the most coveted food. If you were a little boy bent on torturing your little sister, you could not come up with some of these possibilities — not in your wildest imagination. My favorite example was a penis of a deer in leek bulbs. Best thing to do is not to ask what you’re eating. Also, if you do not drink or have a low resistance, as I do — I mean, I’m a very cheap date — you must indicate that immediately, even stretch the truth and say you have a medical condition, otherwise you’re in for the long haul. They are promiscuous toasters. Does any part of Beijing remind you of the city you saw three decades ago? ­Dongzhimen is interesting because it once was Beijing’s northeastern gate that led to the countryside, and now it’s within the second ring of six roads; that’s how much the city has grown. There you can find